Is the work of a mother always done?
Our work as mothers will simply never be ‘done’. Brave women have gone before us to fight for gender equality. The lines of parenthood are beautifully blurring as men take on roles that their fathers and grandfathers considered to be women’s work.
Do you think about your unloved mother all the time?
Since I write about unloved children frequently, some people wrongly believe that I think about my own mother all the time. Nothing could be further from the truth. After years of going back and forth, I cut my mother cleanly out of my life, 13 years before she died.
What’s the best way to help a new mother?
New mothers experience a flood of hormonal changes that are designed to prime her ability to be uniquely responsive to her baby. Let this critical process take place. Let her be with her baby as much as she needs to be. Don’t rush her.
When do daughters of unloving mothers go no contact?
This tug-of-war can go on for literally decades, with the daughter retreating and perhaps going no-contact for a period of time and then being pulled back into the maelstrom by the combination of her neediness, hopefulness, and denial.
What did my mom do when I was at home?
When I am at home, I can choose to do what I want without being judged and without any enjoyment or relaxation spoiled. Looking back, I can see that for years my mind has been full of her demands, wants and toxic behaviour. There was no room for my own basic needs, never mind any wants, which might enrich my life.
How to heal from childhood without a mother?
The road that is recovery from a childhood without a mother’s love, support, and attunement is long and complicated. One aspect of healing that is rarely touched upon is mourning the mother you needed, sought, and — yes — deserved.
Since I write about unloved children frequently, some people wrongly believe that I think about my own mother all the time. Nothing could be further from the truth. After years of going back and forth, I cut my mother cleanly out of my life, 13 years before she died.
This tug-of-war can go on for literally decades, with the daughter retreating and perhaps going no-contact for a period of time and then being pulled back into the maelstrom by the combination of her neediness, hopefulness, and denial.